I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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