Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize