butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
