Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
