Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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