I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so let's talk penis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
PANTIES FOUND
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
