who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize