At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
