i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
