3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize