he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
