All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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