Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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