its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
