I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize