I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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