And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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