the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
