so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
my liver is dry heaving
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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