I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
