Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
