O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
