I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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