I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
