dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
