JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize