If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
