I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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