should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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