what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize