We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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