i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
