You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
