So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
