Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
