take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Terrible idea I love it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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