its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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