I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
