so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
