i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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