I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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