Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
