great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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