What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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