thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize