i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
