I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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