ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
