sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
