I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
