So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize