Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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