One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
