martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize