there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
