am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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