btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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