My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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