Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
soo... how was my night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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