but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
