I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
