i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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