Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
