You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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