omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have aggressive nipples.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Panties = found
Randomize
