So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
