i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's the barista slut.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize