As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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